Well...the next chapter has begun.
My absence from the blog has not been due to depression about infertility, difficulty dealing with our childlessness nor from a lack of things I wish to write on. Nope...none of those.
Rather, I have just been plaid ol' busy. Super busy. There are so many things I wanted to write on, to share with you, but I just haven't had time. So this is my attempt to fill you in on the many many blessings we have experienced in the past months. I know I'll barely skim the surface.
I determined awhile back not to define myself by our infertility...not to get stuck "in the waiting", but vowed to go out and do something productive. To live my life for God, to offer Him all that I am, just as I am in this moment, to do with me what He wills. I believe with all of my heart that He has something very special planned for each of us that only we can accomplish. He has created us for this time and this season and this purpose to fill a specific role. Our job is to pray, be attentive and to respond in love and obedience when He calls.
Starting last September I began to see a picture forming of something God was calling me to do. I had no idea how that one day in September (see my blog post from that day) would change my life. But over the last year as I have continued to pray and discern, I realize that I have been put in a special place to help share with others the power, beauty and truth of Catholic sexual teaching. To teach women about their bodies, how they were created to function and how there are better ways of healing than many options most in the medical profession are giving us. To this end, I have worked over the last year with other medical professionals associated with the Creighton Model in founding a local affiliate of the FertilityCare Centers of America. It has been a ton of work, but the fruit is starting to come. Just this past Thursday (the Feast of St. Padre Pio), our Center received it's approval for affiliation with our national organization. That same day, we found out that an event we are sponsoring in November will be co-sponsored by both our Diocese and also the Notre Dame Fund to Protect Human Life. AND on that same day, we began discussions with adminstrators of our local hospital about the possiblities of bringing a NaPro OB/GYN practice in. Amazing things are happening and we continue to pray. (Check out our new website at www.fccmichiana.org. We're especially excited about the "Upcoming Events" page!)
Yes, I've been busy. Yes, I may be too busy. And yes, what I am doing still relates to infertility, but I no longer feel defined by my cross. Instead I am feeling that the suffering has a purpose. If we didn't go through this way of the cross, I wouldn't have the motivation to do what I am doing, and I wouldn't know first-hand what it feels like to be in this valley of tears. But now, I feel a freedom in living and I feel more "alive" than I've felt in a long long time. It feels good. This must be what Jesus means when He promises to take away our suffering and replace it with his peace that surpasses all understanding. I am thankful.
And so tomorrow, I start yet another new chapter as I head to Omaha, Nebraska to train as a FertilityCare Practitioner at the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction. Soon I will be trained and certified to teach the Creighton Model FertilityCare System. I am excited to have the experience, and am looking forward to the learning, but know that the 10 days will be challenging not only intellectually but emotionally. In addition to learning things I've always wanted to learn such as embryology, and anatomy and physiology, we will also be studying the various types of abortion, how they are done, and the way they affect the baby and could possibly affect the mother (physically and emotionally). As if reading the procedures step by step and seeing the pictures isn't hard enough on most people, for those of us unable to have a child, I think there is an added layer of sadness and pain. Please keep me in your prayers as I begin these studies. That I will be diligent and centered...that this may all be for the glory of God!
I pray for you all regularly and thank you for the many prayers you offer up for our behalf.
St. Therese of Liseux, pray for us.